Our Kids Don’t Need Dreams

they need passion-based skills.

In her recent viral Instagram video, Reese Witherspoon shared a conversation with a mentee who asked for career advice.

Reese asked her what her talents were, but the woman had a hard time answering that.

She could list dreams, but not talents.

Reese told her:

“Don’t follow your dreams. Follow your talents.”

She didn’t elaborate too much on why. I think it was meant to be simple, practical advice for finding a career that’s accessible but enjoyable.

But I want to zoom in on why it’s so easy to think of our dream jobs, but not so easy for us to list our actual talents.

Dreams are Coping Mechanisms

DREAMS, I think - are coping mechanisms. Escapes. We grew up in lives with very little agency. Some of us had more than others, depending on our parents and home life culture. But overall, growing up in the American Public School System - we didn’t get very many choices.

We showed up where we were told to show up. We learned what we were told to learn. We followed a schedule we didn’t design. If you were ahead, you waited. If you were behind, you were pulled aside. If you struggled, you were labeled. If you were bored… too bad. Was school dull for everyone? I don’t know. But it was dull for a lot of us.

I think that’s why we developed dreams. Because our realities were too dull. We had to dream of the things we would do “one day” - because we sure as heck weren’t doing anything we wanted to do now.

So we created this habit of having a “one day” that never really came.